Sunday 31 December 2023

Good Things About 2023

 Good Things About 2023


Another year, another attempt to find some positives in what could be viewed as an abysmal year by many. Remember, negative news always spreaders wider and faster than positive news but that doesn't mean positive things aren't always happening.

#10 - The lionesses reach the world cup final

The lionesses continued their recent successes by reaching the final of the world cup for the first time. They may have lost but for 90 minutes we fully believed they might just do it. Plus, we got properly introduced to the legendary Mary Earps.



#9 - Pill cuts risk of breast cancer by half

A pill called Anastrozole is now being offered by the NHS which cuts the risk of breast cancer by half. It is currently being offered to women who are seen as being most at risk.


#8 - The Beatles release their last song

Decades after their last song, the Beatles released their lost track 'Now and Then' with a little help from AI. In my opinion, the song is only okay but you can't deny it being pretty cool that the biggest band of all time had a chance to release some new music. 



#7 - Barbenheimer

When Barbie and Oppenheimer released, they smashed the box office and received great reviews from critics. Hopefully signaling the end of cinema releases being made up purely of Marvel sequels and Disney remakes. 



#6 - Laurence Fox fired

Laurence Fox is the epitome of a human skid-mark. It boggles my mind that there are people on the planet that would admire him (do they exist?). Anyway he got fired from GB news for being a twat!


#5 - 4 day working week

The 4 day work week finally got trialed in the UK. Brits everywhere can dream of the freedom that a 3 day weekend would offer.


#4 - Beavers return to UK

Beavers have begun to be reintroduced into the wild in the UK. They were hunted to extinction 400 years ago but are finally making their welcome return in select areas. Beavers also help to create habitats for other wildlife so it could potentially impact the numbers of other wild animals in Britain.



#3 - Less deforestation in the Amazon

Deforestation fell by over 60% in the Amazon. The Amazon is often referred to as the lungs of the earth and its destruction is often viewed as one of the potential tipping points regarding climate change. Any steps towards lessening the deforestation it has been suffering are beneficial for all of us.


#2 - Gender pay gap shortening

The gender pay gap has been proved to be slowly declining and has fallen by over a quarter since the last decade. It still stands at 7.7% but this number improves when looking at people under 40.


#1 - Lad protects security guard

I can't explain how happy I felt when I saw this video showing an oxygen thief trying to ruin the day of  a Tesco security guard being immediately subdued by a 'have a go hero' who was sick of seeing someone behave like a complete arsehole. Seriously, if there is a Just Giving for this guy let me know. 


Anyway, have a happy new year everyone!

Sunday 26 February 2023

Why Roald Dahl Books SHOULDN'T Be Changed

 Why Roald Dahl Books SHOULDN'T be Changed


Unless you've been living under a rock, you have probably heard the furore surrounding Puffin deciding to edit Roald Dahl books in order to make them 'suitable for modern audiences'. These included Augustus Gloop no longer being referred to as 'fat' and the Twits no longer being referred to as ugly. That's right, they're removing insults made towards fictional characters. Fictional characters who are the antagonists of the books! I can't believe I'm favourably quoting the Queen Consort but she said, 'please remain true to your calling, unimpeded by those who may wish to curb the freedom of your expression or impose limits on your imagination'. When referring to writers, I think she's spot on. 

My first thought when reading about the edits my first though was that we knew words like fat and ugly were rude and offensive when I was a kid, that was part of what made reading Roald Dahl books fun. Any child who has a personality and any kind of mischievous nature (which is most children) doesn't want to read books that are 'safe'. They want to read books that are cheeky and have characters who do and say the wrong things. In fact, I can't think of a single great novel (for children or adults) that couldn't be considered controversial or offensive to some extent. When I was a kid, one of the things that put me off reading books was how safe and boring so many of them were. 

My job involves reading to children every single day and they never enjoy it more than when Horrid Henry plays a cruel prank, they learn something gruesome in Horrible Histories or they hear an insulting description of someone in a Roald Dahl book. Funnily enough, despite enjoying Roald Dahl, they know to not call someone fat or ugly in real life because children aren't idiots and don't need to be patronised. 

Furthermore, it is just wrong to edit a writers work without their consent, especially posthumously. A less interfering option could be to put a 'contains insensitive language' sticker on the front and just let parents, teachers and children decide for themselves. Probably almost every great children's novel could be edited for sensitivity. We could have Horrid Henry where Henry is polite to his teachers and never plays pranks on his brother. We could have an Angry Aztecs where we avoid mentioning human sacrifice. We could even write new books about a child who never upsets anyone or does anything challenging. I'm sure children would love reading that book, right? Let's not start with a book about Twits who aren't ugly. 



Saturday 31 December 2022

Good Things About 2022

 Good Things About 2022


What with Russia, the cost of living, two Tory prime ministers we didn't even vote for and Neil Parish suffering the indignity of accidentally stumbling across pornography whilst innocently searching for pictures of tractors, it would be easy to dismiss 2022 as a terrible year. However, as is my annual tradition, I will try to find some of the positives we saw in 2022. 

#10 - Andrew Tate gates arrested with help from a pizza box.

If you haven't heard of Andrew Tate, he is a man who has made millions from convincing insecure men that he can turn them into millionaires if they pay him money whilst styling himself as an internet guru. He does that thing where he mixes obvious facts with hate speech so people can say, 'well, lots of what he says is actually true.' 

Anyway, whilst verbally attacking that teenage environmental activist we all know, he gave away his location to police via a pizza box and has been arrested for reasons including potentially being involved in human trafficking. So, hopefully we don't hear from him in a while!



#9 - Prince Andrew kicked out of Buckingham Palace.

Another man who was potentially involved with a human trafficker, Prince Andrew seemed to be surviving disturbingly well. I mean, consider how much more hate Megan and Harry have got in the Media than him despite him clearly having having done much worse things than make a mildly critical Netflix show. 

However, in an act of common sense, King Charles has now supposedly banned him from Buckingham Palace. Hopefully meaning we don't have to see his sweaty face as much in the future. 

#8 - Lionesses became European champions.

After 33 years of disappointing England results, I finally got to see an England team lift a major international trophy! It also massively helped to raise positive publicity towards women's football in this country.

#7 - Britain has begun to embrace the 4 day working week.

For a long time, it has been the norm for people in many professions to be expected to work longer and longer hours. This is often accompanied by a toxic 'grind' culture that tries to convince people that longer hours worked, even at the expense of things like sleep and time spent with family, mean greater success (it doesn't). 

However, the world's biggest four day working week pilot is underway in the UK meaning a healthier balance may be on the cards for many people in the near future.

#6 - Work towards a cancer vaccine getting closer.

With all the work towards vaccines in recent years, attention has now been turned towards creating a vaccine for cancer. One of the main companies working towards this has said that there may be cancer vaccine available for the public by 2030!

#5 - A cure for Alzheimer's is now closer.

In another breakthrough for health and medicine, a drug has been tested that appears to slow memory decline by up to 27%. This means that a cure for the most common form of Dementia could now be on the horizon.

#4 - Jack Grealish makes the day for a child with cerebral palsy. 

When Jack Grealish performed a strange, wriggly dance after scoring a goal in the World Cup, it could be easy to think, 'wtf is he doing?' However, it later turned out that he had done this for a 12 year old with cerebral palsy called Finlay Fisher who had made the request after meeting him previously. 

The fact that the first thing Grealish would think about after one of the biggest moments in his career is a young fan with a disability can't help but warm your heart. 

#3 - Some endangered animals are making a come back.

We only ever hear the bad news stories about the environment which is obviously because of how important they are but there are some positives.

For one, despite the vast majority of scientists saying that we are heading towards climate catastrophe, a few of the guys at my gym have told me that climate change is completely made up so we should be fine. In more sane news though, some animals such as the Antolian Leopard and Grey Wolves have actually been increasing in number.

#2 - Steps are taken towards fighting deforestation.

The new Brazilian prime minister has vowed to halt deforestation in the Amazon Rainforest which is a drastic change from the policies of his predecessor. Other countries have also made progress in this area such as many members of the EU now banning the important of many products considered some of the main drivers of deforestation. 

#1 - My son was born!

Maybe not as important for other people but I think he's pretty cool. 

Sunday 21 August 2022

10 Banned Books You Should Read

 10 Banned Books You Should Read.


The year is 2022 and books are still causing enough outrage to make headlines, cause violence or be banned. For me, even though it is sad that this is still the case, it also shows how powerful books still are. I'm sure a lot of people are similar to me in that whenever they hear a book has been banned somewhere or caused mass outrage it immediately makes me want to read it. Furthermore, a lot of the 'controversial' novels I've read have also been some of the best writing that I've ever encountered. In fact, I'm sure that almost every novel I've ever loved could be considered controversial to some extent. One of my uni tutors used to say "nice writes white" which I think meant that if you only wrote about 'nice/safe' things then you wouldn't really have anything interesting to say. Imagine trying to write a novel that had no controversial themes, no characters with controversial traits and wouldn't upset anyone who read it. It would probably be awful or aimed at children under 6. Anyway, here are 10 books that have been banned at some point (8 were banned by actual governments) that I think are worth reading. 

#10 - For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway (suppressed by Spanish authorities).

If you ever want to read classic literature that isn't remotely pretentious then you can't go wrong with Ernest Hemingway. He writes simple prose that is completely accessible to anyone whilst losing none of the grandiose of the moving and profound stories he portrays. 



#9 - Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence (banned for obscenity laws).

It's almost a shame that Lawrence is so famous for his gratuitous (for the time) sex scenes because what I think he is best at doing is portraying place. You really feel you can see, smell and hear all of the settings he creates, so much so that they stay with you once you have finished the book.


 

#8 - Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov (banned for being obscene).

It's gross and disturbing but it is also one of the best examples of an unreliable narrator that I have ever read. You really feel as if you are hearing the thoughts of a highly disturbed and delusional individual.



#7 - The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck (banned for unflattering portrayal). 

A long book that largely takes place during a long, difficult journey across the United States. You are rooting for the characters the whole way and, in a time of the cost of living crisis, it probably feels more relevant now than ever. 



#6 - The Autobiography of Malcolm X (banned for criticising white supremacy).

I always admire an autobiography where the author doesn't try to portray themselves as a perfect person. This autobiography feels brutally honest and tells the life story of an often misunderstood man.  



#5 - To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (banned for using racist language).

Banning a staunchly anti-racist book set in the 30's for having 'racist language' is probably one of the stupidest things I've ever heard and this only happened in schools in America a few years ago. Anyway, it's one of those classic novels that lives up to every bit of hype and should be read by everyone.  



#4 - Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell (banned for satirising Stalin).

A book that is still referenced constantly and for good reason. It was also the book that got me into 'serious' reading as a teenager and helped set my life on a better trajectory. 



#3 - Another Country by James Baldwin (banned for being indecent).

The first thing I thought when I read this book was how ahead of its time it was. It feels as if it could be written now and not feel at all aged. The fact that Australia banned it for being, 'continually smeared with indecent, offensive and dirty epithets and allusions' should be reason enough for you to want to read it.



#2 - Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (banned for portraying promiscuous sex).

I've always viewed Brave New World as being an even more accurate dystopia than Nineteen Eighty-Four when compared to the world around me. Do you remember when people were bizarrely upset at Gordon Ramsey recently for choosing which lamb he wanted to eat because we've become so disconnected from where our food comes from that we can't handle someone being even remotely hands on with the meat they eat? That's the kind of thing that still makes me think of Brave New World on a regular basis. 



#1 - The Color Purple by Alice Walker (banned for too many reasons to list). 

This is the perfect book to be at number one. Partly because I consider it one of (if not the) greatest novels ever written and also because it addresses so many sensitive issues that have caused other books in this list to be banned at some point. It does this all with an incredibly strong narrative voice and a story that makes you think and feel more than most other books I've ever read.



Which other 'banned books' should people read?


Saturday 13 August 2022

My Pixar Tier List

 My Pixar Tier List.


I'm not the biggest Disney/Pixar fan on the planet. I don't go to the parks every year, wear Disney branded clothes or put a sticker of Tinkerbell with 'powered by pixie dust' on my car (maybe I should, it would look fabulous). However, Disney/Pixar was definitely a big part of my childhood and you would have to be the the most pretentious of film lovers (rahrahrah Eraserhead rahrahrah) to not admit that they have made some great films. Here is my personal tier list of Pixar films, maybe I'll do the Disney films one day. Just to warn you, my opinion on Finding Nemo might make you hate me and I haven't watched quite a few Pixar films such as Coco or Cars. 


Rank D (a bit shit):

Monsters University - I watched it and can't remember anything that happens so I'm guessing it wasn't great.

Rank C (below average):

Finding Nemo - I know most people love it but Ellen Degeneres' voice acting just really grates on me and I don't like any of the main characters. Definitely overrated in my opinion.

Brave - Beautifully animated but it just seemed really disjointed to me and the whole bear thing felt more random than purposeful. 

Rank B (good):

These films are all good but none of them had a profound effect on me. Solid all round. 

Rank A (great): 

Monsters Inc - Loads of really memorable characters and all the voice acting is spot on. Particularly the little girl Boo, I recommend looking up how they captured her voice because it's adorable.

Toy Story 3 - We all cried at that scene in the incinerator thing. Right?

Up - The first half of this film is some of the most perfect animated story telling I've ever seen. The second half of the film is a bit meh. 

Rank S (I love these!):

Toy Story - My favourite animated film of all time. We had the VHS when I was a kid and probably watched it about 300 times. 

Toy Story 2 - Almost as perfect as the first one and gives Woody a brilliant character arc. Also adds characters that feel almost as iconic as those introduced to us in the first film.

Inside Out - Such a clever idea for a film and one of those rare films that I feel all children would actually benefit from watching. All of the emotions are portrayed and voiced perfectly. 

Soul - One of those films that really stayed with me after I watched it. It's hard to watch this without reflecting on your own life/dreams/decisions and I know me and my wife ended up talking about all of those things for hours after we watched it.

Anyway, please let me know which films I got right/wrong in my rankings or which animated films are your favourites.






Saturday 1 January 2022

Good Things About 2021

 Good Things About 2021


2021 might seem a bad year; what with Covid, rising cost of EVERYTHING, an inept Tory government and, of course, the beloved Betty White not making it to 2022. However, as with any year, there are also plenty of positives to take from it. Here are just a few that I remembered/found in no particular order.


#10 - Vaccinations could lead to population immunity

Dr Anthony Fauci (President Biden's chief medical advisor) said we could reach a level of population immunity where the virus is no longer dominating peoples lives. 


 

#9 - Canada bans single use plastics

Canada is planning on completely banning the use of single use plastics in 2022. This could hopefully set a precedent for other countries to follow and another way that we can help the planet.

#8 - Four day work weeks

Anybody who has experienced excessive work loads will know the damage that working every evening and weekend can have on your mental and physical health. This is why the successful trials of a four day work week in Iceland and plans for other countries to also trial a four day work week could mean great things for workers around the world. 

#7 - Donald Trump is no longer president

Bad news for Trump supporters but fantastic news for everyone else and also for the planet.

#6 - Ghislaine Maxwell goes to prison

Ghislaine Maxwell was sentenced and could spend the rest of her life in prison. This is a small amount of justice for the many victims who suffered at the hands of her, Epstein and possibly others. 

#5 - England played in a Euro Cup final

Long suffering England fans (me included) finally got to see their team play in the final of a major tournament. People would have seen this as a positive and not abused the players on social media...right? Well, some idiots did but most England fans (including every single England fan that I know personally) was incredibly proud to see a young, diverse team of England players take us further than most of us have seen in our lifetime.



#4 - Cop26

Cop26 might not have been perfect (just ask Greta) but it still saw many of the rich and powerful of the world make agreements to help slow climate change and hopefully keep 1.5 degrees alive. This included accelerating the move to electric vehicles which I would be even more excited about if I could afford a Tesla. 

#3 - Lockdown ended

And everyone has tried to remember the excuses they used to use to avoid going to that racist uncle's birthday party. You know, the one who hates Lewis Hamilton, gets triggered by anyone suggesting Brexit isn't going smoothly and has the 'grabby hands'. 

#2 - Malaria Vaccine

A Malaria vaccine, known as Mosquirix, became the only approved vaccine of its type. A disease that killed 627,000 people last year, imagine how many people could be saved! How much do you reckon the scientists who invented the Malaria vaccine resent the smugness of the scientists getting all the attention for inventing Covid vaccines at the moment?

#1 - Tampon Tax abolished

Women, quite obviously, require female sanitary products. The UK abolishing the 'tampon tax' means that they will now be able to access these completely necessary products cheaper and easier. A long overdue win for the women of this country. 


Thanks for reading my list, I know there are loads of things I missed out but feel free to point out any of the really important (or funny) ones that I missed. As for me, I had a great year that included marrying an amazing woman who makes my life better in every way, buying a beautiful house and getting a cat who does her best to destroy said house. However, I also had struggles, particularly with stress that caused me lots of anxiety and restless nights. Despite this, I am so grateful for 2021 and all the amazing people in it. Make sure you look back and celebrate your wins but also allow yourself to appreciate the strength it took to overcome your struggles. I hope that 2022 brings you pizza, decent Netflix series and the courage to share your Spotify end of year stats even if it means admitting Backstreet Boys were your most listened to artist. 


Sunday 28 March 2021

Dos/Windows 98 PC Games Tier List

 Dos/Windows 98 Games Tier List


The big, chunky, white computer that often sounded like aircraft about to take off and sat on a wooden table next to our kitchen was one of my favourite things in our house as a child. This is my tier list of games from that era that I made from this list of games I found online. Unfortunately, it's missing quite a few games that have a lot of nostalgia for such as Civilization II and Swat 2 but this is how I ranked the ones that were on it. 



Haven't played

Diablo and Diablo 2: My only memories of these games are of watching my older brother play them so I couldn't really rank them properly.

Low tier

Wacky Wheels: one of the main reasons I was jealous of kids who had Mario Kart.

Alone in the Dark: clunky.

Ecstatica: even clunkier.

Mid tier

Carmageddon and Carmageddon 2: spent hours on these as a child. The aesthetic was different from anything else I had played at the time but they don't hold up very well.

Sin: fairly average FPS.

Warcraft: not as good as the sequel.

Tomb Raider: I love certain aspects of this game but it has still never grasped me enough to actually complete it.

Commander Keen: this was the PC's answer to Super Mario but not quite as much fun. 

High tier

Woldenstein 3D: one of the first FPS games ever made. Really simple gameplay but lots of fun and you get to kill Hitler.

Doom and Doom 2: both very deserving of their iconic status. The second one is superior in my opinion.

Quake: superior to Doom in general atmosphere which is helped by the amazing soundtrack. 

Warcraft II: another game I spent hours on as a child and was much better at than when I tried to play it again a few years ago. Improves in most aspects over the original Warcraft. 

Dungeon Keeper: an amazing strategy game that managed to be dark and humorous at the same time. Potentially deserving of being in God tier. 

God tier:

Duke Nukem 3D: my personal favourite FPS game of all time. It was simple fun and managed to make fun of 80's and 90's action films whilst also playing a perfect homage to them.

Half Life: the first FPS game I remember playing that felt like it had a bit more depth in regards to storyline and strategy. Not quite as good as its sequel but still an amazing game in its own right.

Theme Hospital: a brilliant 'pick up and play' type game that I can still enjoy just as much today as when I was a child. To this day, I still see strategy games trying to emulate the same humour and atmosphere that Theme Hospital created.

Anyway, feel free to tell me how wrong I am or let me know what your own list would be.